Teenagers (due to no fault of their own) cannot be trusted to know their own minds. They are unsure and indecisive, but full of passionate conviction. They equivocate, waver, vacillate and throw ridiculous tantrums. Never, never let them draw you into their insanity. And no matter what you do, never trust anything they say about YOU.
I give you a fine example from my own beautiful life.
My very own teenagers describe me alternately--often on the same day--as BOTH of these instruments of the zeitgeist:
If you are perplexed--how could the same mother possibly fill both opposing roles?--join the club.
I AM both, of course--aren't we all?--over-zealous supporter AND the muscle who keeps them in line. But that's beside the point. Teenagers will say anything, to anybody, when they're frustrated or lost or caught in a power-struggle.
Let's all make ourselves a deal. Let's not listen to a single thing our progeny utters about us until they are about three months into their first year of parenting their own kid. If we HONOR their innate process of differentiating, defining and destroying, we'll see a different version of ourselves through their grown-up eyes.
In THAT kid's eyes--the grown-up, responsible, family-starting kid we hope each of our children becomes--you're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it. :-)